


And All the Grays In Between

by kidspawn02



Category: Death Note
Genre: Doomed Relationships, Hinted Character Death, M/M, light is very emotional, lots of fluff and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 14:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10336457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidspawn02/pseuds/kidspawn02
Summary: They find each other in shades of gray.





	

**ALL THE GREYS IN BETWEEN - DEATH NOTE**

 

They find each other in shades of grey.

For L, he is white. Light is black. L is good. Light is evil.

But L is also smart - he knows that neither of them is perfect. L certainly doesn’t have a perfect moral record, and Light has more morality than he could have ever guessed.

This all he knows - every moment is a shade of grey.

Right now, it is the lightest it has ever been. L is staring at his computer screen, his eyes almost watering from sheer brightness. They don’t talk, but there is an easy silence between them. Light radiates a very easy air - the easiest he has ever been. There is barely an inch of space between them, each one has a hand barely brushing the others.

L doesn’t speak - too scared of disrupting the gentle air between them. It is like glass, and L’s voice has a tendency to shatter glass like a hammer.

So, the air remains delicate - stays a soft, powdery grey as L and Light curl their hands together.

The light does not discount the dark - right now for instance. The air is thick-filled with tension and heat. L winces as Light’s face contorts, twists, and fills with more and more irritation - borderlining  _ hatred.  _

“You still don’t trust me!” Light is shouting, his auburn hair sticking up in funny areas, at ridiculous arcs. Were the situation not so somber, L would be laughing.

“I can’t trust you.” Is L’s response. “It’s my job not to trust you.”\

L’s opinion is too harsh - it slices through the air with blunt sincerity. 

“Then what’s the point?” Light scowls. “If you can’t trust me, what’s the point?”

L has no response - no words that will satisfy Light’s need to be answered. His voice is suddenly missing, stolen by shame and guilt, but also preserved by a sense of pride and justice.

Light leaves.

L’s world is very dark. 

*

Light doesn’t have a sweet tooth - L is determined to change that.

“This is my favourite.” L states, waving his fork at a piece of strawberry cake. 

Raising his eyebrow, Light retorts, “Then why don’t  _ you  _ have some?” Despite having what is normally a very good posture, Light sinks further into his booth. 

“Because I want to know how Light-kun feels about it.” L explains, shifting to rest on his heels. 

“I don’t want any.” Light frowns, crossing his arms stubbornly. 

L tips his head to one side, studying Light’s profile. In the light filtering through the cafe window, his eyes are lit an almost amber hue, the red streaks in his auburn hair filtering through stronger than ever. L jabs his fork into a piece of cake, and holds it halfway across the table, even going so far as to enforce a bit of a pout. 

“Please?”

They stare at each other for a few minutes, though not with any actual tension. L has found that in moments like this, where they are playful, the tension does not stress him out, but, rather, makes him feel more relieved. Like their biggest issue right now actually is Light trying one of L’s favourite food.

Light leans over the table and takes a small bite from the fork, scowling all the way. (Though L is uncertain how someone can look so angry but still be so attractive.)

“Happy now?”

L flashes a small smile, shy but filled with a message of, ‘I know more than you think.’ He takes a few more bites, pondering on it. 

“Only when Light-kun tells me how he liked it.”

Light makes a face - though not one L can actually read. Light is not prone to wearing his emotions plain on his face. 

“It wasn’t  _ that  _ bad.” Light begrudgingly admits.

L smiles - of course he’s right. 

He leans over and kisses Light, an impulsive move unlike either of them. But L no knows one thing for certain - this is ten times better than any strawberry cake he could have had.

“Ryuuzaki.” Light’s voice breaks through the tension-thick air. “Is that your real name?”

“Obviously not.” L murmurs, tapping on his laptop’s keyboard. “I’m not  _ that  _ idiotic.”

Light is quiet - but not a kind, easy silence. It holds an air of hurt that rings within L’s chest. “Ryuuzaki, why can’t I know your name?”

“Because you could kill me.” L explains, no emotion behind the words. He speaks with complete certainty, and holds nothing back.

Light’s amber hued eyes gleam with anger. “You still think that I’m Kira?”

L tips his head. “Yes.”

“How much?”

“What do you mean?” L asks.

Light is right in front of him, hovering close. His breath is warm on L’s nose - tickles his nerves.

“You KNOW what I mean!” The redhead practically  _ snarls.  _ “You love numbers and statistics so much - so give me some!”

“Five percent.”

Light recoils, as if slapped. “What?” His tone is clipped, rigid, on the verge of snapping.

“Five percent.” L taps some keys on his computer. “If you didn’t hear me, you should get your hearing checked.” It is a petty retort - made from a childish mentality. He is only seeking to hurt Light for pushing this matter so hard.

“Ryuuzaki,” Light leans closer, on his hands. His eyes darken, serious. They still catch light and reflect it about, like sunlight. In most circumstances, it warms L from head to toe. Now? It chills his bones, sends shivers through his spine. “Are you willing to risk  _ this _ , ….. Whatever this is, for your identity?”

“Yes.” 

No hesitation. L’s logic is quick and sharp, with no doubt in his mind. He approaches this, like with everything, with pure and blunt sincerity. Most times, Light finds it endearing. Today, it is insulting.

 

Light cannot help it. He is aware of the stupidity and immaturity, but he flounces out of the room anyway. He slams the door behind him, leaving L in complete silence, accompanied by the echo of Light’s feet as he leaves him.

L does not look up, but his heart hurts. He cares about him so much - more than the boy could ever know.

 

_ This is a final moment.  _ L realizes, close enough to Light to be swapping breath. 

Their hands hover - not quite touching, just close enough for them to feel body heat. Like something could happen, but it is too dangerous to allow it. 

“Ryuuzaki…” Light murmurs, breath smoothing over L’s nose.  “What’s going to happen?”

L says nothing - he speaks in actions instead. He leans his forehead down to rest upon Light’s shoulder, wrapping his arm around the boy in an embrace.

They stand there - chest against chest, hands clutching tight, and breaths intermingling.  L realizes, for the first time in his life, he feels at home.

 

They find each other in shades of grey. No moment is quite the same. It is undefined, without limits, but also fragile. No just friends, but not precisely more.

And when L closes his eyes for one last time, he memorizes the warmth of Light’s body. He imagines that Light may feel the smallest ounce of regret, that maybe the boy felt the same way. He fantasizes of a life where Kira did not exist - where maybe they could have found a definition.

For it is true - the light that they have created turns what is black to shades of grey.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much! Sorry, archive is being funky and won't let me save my works for some reason....


End file.
